READ MORE FROM HIV LIVING by Michael Weinstein
HIV Living
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The recent cases of meningitis in New York and Los Angeles have raised very interesting questions about how homophobia works in terms of the delivery of health care. Being homosexual is not just a sexual orientation; it is the way that we live. Our sexuality is an integral part of who we are and has huge ramifications for our health.
Can a doctor properly diagnose a person’s risk for particular diseases without knowing what type of sexual practices they engage in? What infections or symptoms will be overlooked on the assumption that everyone is straight? What roles do shame and ...
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A stalker is a person who pursues prey stealthily. If we can personify HIV, it is a stalker. It is stalking our community undercover. We never know when it is going to strike, but we know it is there. And, much like any menace that can't be seen and strikes at will when we least expect it, it creates terror. We wonder who will be next—will it be me?When you live under the threat of any terror long enough, you begin to adapt to it. The human mind makes accommodations for conditions that it cannot control. We have lived ...
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Love and sex between men of different generations is nothing new. It rose to the level of a cultural tradition among the Greeks thousands of years ago. Today there are many older and younger men alike who prefer each other’s company to that of people their own age. Many stereotypes abound about rich "sugar daddies" seeking "cute young things,” young "gold-diggers" looking to ride their good looks to an affluent lifestyle, young men looking for father figures and older men seeking to recapture their youth. They are all true to one degree or another. People have many reasons for seeking ...
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Life is an endless series of choices. What we think, do, eat, say, wear, etc., is all a matter of decisions we make. From important things like a job interview where we are choosing our words ever so carefully in order to make the best impression because we want/need the work, to casual things we say in order to make a certain impression, we are doing a split-second cost/benefit analysis. Should I say that I am the best possible person for the job, or will that turn the person off? Should I let this guy I am cruising know that ...
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Experts will continue to debate whether there is such a thing as sex addiction and what the exact definition of it may be. Regardless, there is a wide range of human behavior. Many people have only a passing interest in sex. Others think about it constantly and do it as often as possible. The average American man has seven sex partners in a lifetime. A gay man can have that many in an evening at a sex club. So whether you are a "sex addict" or simply have a "healthy" sex drive, we know that some people are hypersexual. Hypersexuality ...
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‘Living for today’ sounds so romantic. We conjure up a picture of some amazing, mind-blowing experience that we will remember for the rest of our lives. It is as if we have been magically transported into the frame of a movie in which one cosmic moment delivers us from our humdrum daily life. In this transformative moment any risk is worth taking and the consequences pale by comparison to the rewards. Certainly we have all had amazing experiences that we do remember for a lifetime. There are places we have traveled that were so breathtaking we will never forget them. ...
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I felt compelled recently to ask someone whether there was more to life than men. Before you think that’s a strange question with an obvious answer, let me tell you that he had to think about it for a while and wasn't sure of the answer. We obviously don't live by sexual attraction alone. We eat, sleep, work and play in ways that have nothing to do with sex or attraction. But, if the truth be told, our sexual impulses may frequently be brewing just below the surface waiting to boil over.The primacy of sexual attraction is the human ...
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Why not play safely? Because...1. I am usually too drunk or high to think clearly. Consider having sex when you are not totally blitzed. You must be able to remember other times when you enjoyed sex when you were not under the influence. Have a designated driver. Tell the guy you're with to remember to play safe before you down the last shot. Or just go home and sleep it off.2. Using a condom interrupts the flow of sex. Try making the condom part of the sex. He can help you put it on or you on him. ...
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Obviously, life is unpredictable. It is certain that unexpectedly good or bad things small and large are going to happen to us every day, month and year. Many events are outside of our control. But rude awakenings are something different. A rude awakening is something that you thought would never happen that does. It truly catches you off guard. When you are in a dream, as you sleep, you don't know that it is not real. Suddenly you wake up, and for a moment you aren't sure if the dream was real or even whether you are still asleep ...
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When I first came out, having any kind of an openly gay life was an act of rebellion. Living with another man as a couple was a major statement. Participating in a gay parade, a protest, being photographed was a source of paranoia even after the Stonewall uprising in 1969, and especially in Middle America. And in many places, it still is. Being gay automatically made you an outcast. People coped with their outsider status in different ways. Some people reveled in it, even exaggerating it. Others slinked around, only revealing themselves enough to satisfy their carnal needs. Others ...