COLUMNS / BILLY MASTERS

Billy Masters Stories 1 to 10 of 42  
1/26/2012
Madonna vs. Elton John, Leslie Jordan in 'Fruit Fly, Michael Fassbender's Penis and more...
“I want to report a rape. My body of work has been violated by The Artist. This film took the “Love Theme” music from Vertigo and used the emotions it engenders as its own.” —Kim Novak complains about recycling music for the new movie. People who work in rape crisis centers have chastised Novak, saying that she’s diminishing actual rape victims. Since we share a birthday, I’m guessing maybe Kim was just looking for ...
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1/17/2012
Johnny Weir Gets Married, Adam Lambert Goes to Jail and more...
“They ask me every year, and I just can’t do it. I tell them why: ‘You guys keep saying every year you’re going to get A-list people, and then it’s the girl that was with George Clooney!’” —Jenny McCarthy explains why she keeps turning down offers to appear on Dancing With The Stars. When Jenny McCarthy thinks she’s too good for your show, you’re in trouble. Billy’s back in Hollywood and already overbooked. In ...
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12/19/2011
Hugh Jackman Sells Out; Zac Efron Takes a Ride and more...
“Let me tell you something—nobody wants a homosexual child that will later on grow up and get discriminated against by someone like you. So watch out. When somebody doesn’t like hot chocolate, God gives you three cups!” —Dra. Ana Maria Polo, host of my new favorite television program, chastises the mother of a child who may have gender identity issues on Telemundo’s daily courtroom show Caso Cerrado. It’s the last few days of the ...
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12/6/2011
George Michael Gets Sick, Thomas Jane is 'Hung' and more...
“That was the best kiss I have ever had. It was deep, it was intense and it was a long time coming.” —Jason Segel talks about the on-screen kiss he shared with Paul Rudd on Saturday Night Live, which included, dare I say, licking. I recently zipped to NYC to see some shows and catch up with some friends. Aside from running into Zachary Quinto on the street (he says hi to you all) ...
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11/21/2011
Kelly Osbourne Gets in Trouble, Chaz Talks Reassignment and more...
“I like more of a guy’s guy. Like Johnny Depp, James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres.” —Sara Gilbert shares her opinion of Bradley Cooper being named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Because, as we all know, Gilbert is known for her discerning taste in men. If there’s one family always there for the gay community, it’s the Osbournes. That makes it even more ridiculous that Kelly Osbourne has been vilified for using the word “tranny”—a word ...
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11/9/2011
Kim Kardashian Gets Divorced, Jonathan Groff Gets Naked and more...
“Skinny little twinks like him. He doesn’t like the bears, that would be my guess.” —Chaz Bono tells Joy Behar what he thinks Dancing With The Stars judge Bruno Tonioli’s type is. I am SO excited that someone can be in their mid-50s and still be considered a “twink.” This means I’ve got 10 more years—at least! But would you really consider Chaz a “bear”? So Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have broken up. ...
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10/25/2011
Dustin Lance Black gets mad at GQ, Zachary Quinto comes out and more...
“I had never worn a thong before. So the first time I tried it, I put it on wrong and my junk didn’t fit in it. I had to call a wardrobe person in and go, ‘Something’s wrong with my thong, you guys. I think we’re going to have to figure this out.’ And they go, ‘Yeah, your legs are in the wrong holes!’” —Matt Bomer discusses shooting his stripping scenes for Magic Mike. ...
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10/11/2011
Thomas Jane is Hung, Chris Evans gets a butt-double, Billy starts a book club...
“We’re judging the jive here, me ole sausage.” —Len Goodman chastises Derek Hough after his dance last week with Ricki Lake. “Me ole sausage”? I believe that’s the British equivalent of me calling my friend a messy bottom. After a straight celebrity makes a statement that can be perceived as anti-gay, they always give one of those interviews where they invariably say something like, “I love gay people. Many of my close friends are ...
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9/26/2011
Billy Goes to the Emmys...
“Kate Winslet has gone off the rails. Jesus, girl, it’s just an Emmy.” —Sandra Bernhard tweets her reaction to Winslet’s Emmy win. While I echo her thoughts, I don’t believe Miss Sandi has ever been invited to the Emmys, let alone been nominated for one. Just keepin’ it real. I’m in a little bit of a funk this week. Maybe it’s the inevitable letdown after all the Emmy revelry. Maybe it’s being back ...
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9/15/2011
Cheyenne Jackson Gets Married, Hugh Jackman to star in 'Les Mis' and more...
“That’s not to say I wouldn’t like a penis. I really would like one and I hope that someday I will get one.” —Chaz Bono discusses a goal for the future. Just what I need—someone else looking for a hot dick. Since I’ve been embroiled in a spirited game of “I’ll Show You,” I had lots of free time during my lengthy stay in Florida. Therefore, I was able to accept the dinner invitation ...
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