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6/3/2013
Do you want to see the world in a different way? Get yourself a camera! Chances are that fancy, futuristic cellular telephone you’re holding right there in your hand has one inside it. (By the way, I absolutely adore saying things like “cellular telephone” instead of “cell phone.” I also like saying “luncheon” instead of lunch, “memorandum” instead of “memo,” “dungarees” instead of “jeans” and “marijuana cigarette” instead of “joint.” It’s how I think Joan Crawford probably spoke, but that’s another column.) Back to that teeny tiny little camera inside your cellular telephone.
Since my bilateral hip replacement surgery, I’ve been ...
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5/21/2013
No matter how hard we try to focus on the positive and have a sunny outlook on life, it is human nature to sometimes feel depressed. For most of us, this feeling of general malaise is not based on logic and simply disappears about as quickly as it had reared its ugly head. I’m talking here about “The Blues,” not clinical depression, which I would never pretend to understand or attempt to battle. I’m a drag queen, not a doctor. So, if you find yourself feeling miserable, just give it until tomorrow morning. In the meantime, here are a few ...
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5/9/2013
Dear Friend,I am writing to you from my adjustable bed here in the Rehabilitation Center. It’s been a few days since I finally had my double hip replacement surgery, and I am feeling surprisingly good. This may come as a surprise to anyone walking past my room and peeking in at me, because I’m crying just about every five minutes. But these are tears of gratitude. I am so blessed.First of all, I am surrounded by friends. The staff here cannot believe how many visitors I’ve had. And those friends who can’t be here have sent flowers. It ...
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4/18/2013
I’m a drag queen, so any advice I give on style should be taken with a grain of sel de mer. But if you like things chunky, funky and punky, then I’m your girl. If you cringe upon hearing the phrase “less is more,” sit next to me. If you think tacky ‘n’ tasteless can go full-circle and become sassy ‘n’ stunning, read on! These are the 26 things I am currently obsessed with. (Find Part 1 here.)
99-CENTS-ONLY STORES. There are simply things for which I refuse to pay more than one dollar. Condoms and home pregnancy tests are ...
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4/5/2013
I’m a drag queen, so any advice I give on style should be taken with a grain of sel de mer. But if you like things chunky, funky and punky, then I’m your girl. If you cringe upon hearing the phrase “less is more,” sit next to me. If you think tacky ‘n’ tasteless can go full-circle and become sassy ‘n’ stunning, read on! These are the 26 things I am currently obsessed with.ANIMALS. My God, animals are bonkers and beautiful. From my adorable dogs to exotic creatures on the internet, I can’t think of an animal that ...
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3/28/2013
Dearest Readers, I have a confession to make. As you may or may not know, I have some major surgery coming up and, just in case I never come out of the anesthesia, I want to come clean. I have been raising money, online and at bicoastal benefits, for a double hip replacement. I have tearfully explained that “there is no drag queen union” and “I have no insurance,” blah blah blah. And people have been so generous with their time and money to help me. So much so, in fact, that I feel tremendous guilt—for lying to everyone. ...
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3/8/2013
Dear Readers,
This issue’s column is yet another one of those online questionnaires that self-centered types such as myself cannot seem to resist! Here’s more about me than you probably care to know, and feel free to answer the questions yourself and post it on your blog or Facebook page!
Are you currently in a serious relationship? I take all my relationships seriously, so yes.
What was your dream growing up? To be a cast member of Saturday Night Live. I even wrote them a letter.
What talent do you wish you had? I wish I could read and write ...
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2/22/2013
Dear Readers,Take a big-boned man-lady who has run around in high heels for over 20 years, add the fact that her mother drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney while pregnant with her, make it all take place right here in America instead of Canada and what do you get? A world-famous drag superstar with two hips that are crumbling like a sandcastle during high tide. NEWS FLASH: There's no such thing as a drag queen union, and as a result, I have no medical insurance. After years of excruciating pain, it's finally time for the ...
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2/7/2013
Close your eyes and you’ll swear legendary lady Billie Holiday is back from the dead. Open them and you’ll see that amazing voice is in fact emanating from the one and only Joey Arias. But there is so much more to Arias than simply his infamous, uncanny ability to channel Holiday. We spoke on the phone recently about his upcoming L.A. show, RuPaul’s Drag Race and sex with Ben Affleck.Welcome to LaLa Land, darling. I always think of you as the quintessential New Yorker. Be honest, what do you love about Los Angeles? I think L.A. is Never Never ...
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1/24/2013
“Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law—for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.” I cannot even read these words without my eyes filling up with tears. When President Barack Obama courageously said them in his recent inauguration speech, millions of gay Americans like myself finally felt like we truly counted. I make jokes all the time that mainstream acceptance is the worst thing that ever happened to the gay community because it has ...
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