Writing about film, and interviewing actors and directors, I have gotten to know many filmmakers and performers over the years. I talk with them about their craft and how they create their films and their characters, but it’s rare that I get the chance to see them at work on a film set. It’s like someone who eats sausage getting to see how it is made.

When I mentioned this to Todd Verow, an indie queer filmmaker I admire, we discussed the possibility of my being a fly on the wall of his latest film. Todd agreed to let me peel back the curtain and visit him as he filmed a scene for his latest untitled project.*

He emails me the sides (pages for the scene being shot that day), and I feel like an actor in a Woody Allen film—I just get to see the scene being filmed. I have no knowledge of any other aspect of the project or characters. The scene in question is a drug orgy. It’s very funny and a bit naughty.

I am sent the location information, and when I arrive, the place is sauna-like hot, even though it's 36 degrees outside and I’ve climbed across snowdrifts to get there. Todd is shirtless and in shorts, “dressing” the set by covering every inch of the wall and floor space with black plastic bags. A black couch sits in the middle of the almost empty room; two chairs and a lamp on a table are the only other pieces of furniture. A bunch of mirror balls hang from the ceiling by dental floss. The room looks cool/surreal, and shows how creative Todd can be on a microbudget.

I gingerly take a seat, and meet/chat with Philly, the mono-monikered actress who plays the meth lab mistress for the scene. Philly informs me that the film’s lead has gone missing and is being replaced by the pillow she is holding. She recounts the events of the previous day when she and Todd were filming in the snowy streets and they were nearly arrested. She approached a police van while in character, and the cops apparently didn’t like that.

The set is abuzz with all the off-screen drama, and it’s quite clear how the cast and crew adapt to the challenges of making the film. I’m incredulous at these developments, and the softspoken Todd tells me he is “embracing the chaos.” He repeats it like a mantra, as if he’s convincing himself, and I applaud his reworking today’s scene to handle the lead’s disappearance. He expresses concern that he hopes the vanished actor is OK and alive, but he is obviously distressed by the developments.

Philly and I are chatting as we wait for the other talent to arrive. We bond over attending the same high school, though decades apart. As Michael Vaccaro, another actor, arrives, Todd informs him that the lead went missing, and that another cast member would not be in town until after today’s shoot. Todd finishes dressing the set and “striking” the lights (turning on the spots that make the hot room even hotter). Then another actor calls to say today isn’t good for him. Todd rolls his eyes in frustration, holds the phone out with a “Can you believe this?!” look.

“When making a film, you never know what to expect,” observes Philly, with a jaded tone in her voice. “But we get it done by whatever means necessary.”

Philly goes off to get dressed and into character. She puts on a black polyester outfit that makes her itchy and hot. “This is so uncomfortable,” she complains, as Todd literally makes a belt out of clear plastic tape to secure her outfit, “But it helps me get into character.”

She explains that she based her meth pad mistress on “a hideous queen I once knew in San Francisco who wore a kimono and was surrounded by young boys.” When she returns with startling blue eye shadow and red lipstick smeared on her lips vertically, she said she “had” her character. Philly looks kooky and fabulous.

Next thing you know, Todd is handing out releases for the cast, and I’m being asked to sign one to appear in the film as an extra. I would be in the scene, in my underwear (the other actors are nude) playing a writer working on his book about the meth pad. I don’t think the character is much of a stretch, and under the guise of participating for art, I strip down to my black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I’m grateful the room is like a sauna.

Michael, meanwhile, is being outfitted in a psychedelic shirt and jeans. Todd is cutting holes in Michael’s legs and ass with scissors. He passes around the fake “tina” for the scene, explaining that the stuff in the plastic bowl is actually rock candy. Taking a piece, he declares it “yummy,” and enthuses, “It smokes nicely. When you light it up in a crack pipe, it smells like cotton candy!” Still, he insists that no one inhale it. He also warns Philly that the spray bottle he gave her to squirt on the actors contains alcohol, so it should be kept away from the lighters and open flames. Given that every inch of the place is covered in plastic bags, I scan the room for a fire extinguisher. Finding none, I silently hope that nothing will catch fire.

A porn star, Brandon, arrives as the other actors are going over their line readings. Michael is pulling the threads on his ripped jeans and asking if the scene we are about to film happens before or after another scene in the film. Since Todd is shooting out of sequence, and the story is being re-worked, Michael wants to understand the continuity. Todd says “Yes,” then “No,” and they confirm the sequence of events.

As this is happening, the next actor, Rob, arrives. Michael and Brandon, who has been—ahem—preparing himself, get naked on the couch, and I stand against a wall “in character,” in my underwear, and make scratches on my notepad. Philly goes to the door with Todd and his handheld camera (a Panasonic DVX100B) so he can film Rob as he enters. The idea is to catch the actor off guard, and create a sense of realism for the scene.

The conceit works beautifully, and Rob, who is meeting Todd for the first time today I’ve learned, adapts to the demands of the moment. I’m watching this magic happen, and everything is suddenly coming together organically. Rob gets to the couch with Michael and Brandon, who are making out quite erotically, and he starts to participate. It’s pretty hot to watch these sexy, naked actors being so uninhibited; I’m getting a real eyeful. I picked a good day to visit. This is so much more interesting than filming a scene of two characters just talking.

The scene goes on really long, and the actors are really into the sex. I acknowledge their commitment and can’t stop staring, even though I’m ready for Todd to yell “Cut.” When Michael coughs, he’s acting as a tweaker, and it’s really convincing. Meanwhile, Todd is roaming around the couch shooting. He crouches beside me, which enables me to see him zooming in on the action, covering all of the angles. Eventually, he calls, “Good, good,” his code that he got what he wanted.

“I like to let it run and see what happens,” he says about his approach to shooting this lengthy sex scene.

Brandon applauds the freedom he had to perform, stating, “It’s nice he let us go. Porn is so stop and start, and scripted.”

Todd assures the actors that the scene in the finished film “won’t be as graphic” as what we all just saw. I wonder to myself what Todd is going to do with the raw footage.

The guys take a break and hug and cuddle a bit. Their intimacy when the camera is not rolling is hot, too. They sit down naked and nonchalant and chat about Cher’s tweets and how they know Todd. Brandon towels the sweat off his hot, glistening body, and gives me this look like I really should take my underwear off and sit next to him. I blush and want to get a towel myself.

Todd tells the guys to put their underwear on so he can take some publicity shots, and one complains, “Do we have to?” They get a little silly doing the photos, playing with some candy floss in the room. Michael and Philly each bite an end, a la Lady and the Tramp, prompting Philly to ask, “Who’s the lady, and who is the tramp?” Given the sex we all just witnessed on the couch, everyone laughs. Todd takes some photos and reviews the next scene.

He’s going to “cheat” me and move me away from my corner and more towards the “action” on the couch. I’m even hotter now leaning up against the wall covered in plastic bags. Another actor, Eddie, arrives now for another scene of simulated sex. This time, with Rob, whose character is overdosing.

Philly wants to skip a rehearsal, citing, “You never know whether you’ll get a good take or not.” After the first time through the scene, Todd gives her direction on how she’s supposed to read her line about wanting to chop up the overdosed Rob. He tells her that her spacey character should pause and think about what she’s saying—as if a lightbulb is going off in her meth-addled head. I think it’s a very funny bit, and works much better than the first run-through of the scene.

On the other side of the room, Brandon is being incorrigible, kissing and touching Eddie to prepare him for his sex scene. It’s very sexy and I try not to stare too much. Philly catches this activity and shouts, “Todd, the actors keep copping feels when they are not supposed to!” The camaraderie on the set is warm and relaxed.

As filming resumes, I notice that Eddie is shaking a bit. I’m not sure if he’s acting or just nervous. (I applaud his bravery; I couldn’t have stepped into this role.) I observe this and Michael tells me he drank extra coffee today to be a jittery tweaker. It explains how Michael prepares for his work, but I’m not able to chat with Eddie about his “craft” or how he got involved in the production.

Back to filming, Todd yells “Cut!” when lines are flubbed and we start the take again. Eddie has to prompt his co-star’s lines in the next take, and so we must do it again. Another error is made, and we go again—a fourth time. Todd is unflappable, however. In the next take, he provides an aside to me, “Good with the pad.” I smile at the note he gives me and take pride in my work as an extra. We shoot the scene one more time, and Todd says, “This is the last time, I promise!”

Philly answers knowingly, “He always says that!”

As we start filming again, I sense that everyone is getting a little punchy. Todd is now shooting a point-of-view scene from the doorway, moving past a naked Michael tweaking on one side of the room, me in my corner and the nude guys on the couch. I can’t keep a straight face in this, my last scene of the day, because I’m hot and tired and hungry. (The strand of candy floss I ate passes as craft service lunch here). But I laugh because I imagine someone walking past the open (front) doorway, seeing this room covered entirely in black plastic, with a bunch of naked and nearly naked people hanging out in it, wondering what the hell is going on.

Well, I can’t wait to see what this looks like, either. But I will just have to wait for the release of the film, which is planned for 2012.

I hear Todd say “Good, good” on the replay of the video, and the scene is wrapped. I am thanked for my time. I put on my clothes, say my goodbyes and head back out into the real world.

*Todd Verow recently announced he had a title for the film—The Endless Possibility of Sky.