If you’ve been with your significant other for any length of time, it’s likely that the sexual spark you once shared has fizzled a bit. Like most of us, you may have tried to stoke the erotic fires with candlelit dinners, contortionist sex positions, a little role playing or even a short hiatus from sex.

But the shortcut to flipping his sexual switch could be closer than you think. As a man, you may have been accused of thinking with your other head on more than one occasion, but of course that head located between your shoulders is where your sexual ideas should be coming from. So before you dim the lights and pull on your jimmy cover, make sure you put on your thinking cap.

If there is any truth to the adage that the largest sexual organ on a man is his brain, then by all means, a mind really is a terrible thing to waste. Since we only use a fraction of our brain for all of our daily functions, it would be a shame to waste the portion allotted to our libidos.

What we’re talking about here is simple psychology, and this mental magic works as well for the giver as it does the receiver. How can you not be turned on when you see his reactionary erection? The following are a few tricks that those of us who are ‘in the naughty know’ use to create mutual erotic excitement.

Feel free to flirt. Those cheeky innuendos that once had you laughing all the way to the bedroom might have become a distant memory now that your relationship has seen a few years. So go ahead and unearth the sexual slapstick and you’ll soon be splitting more than his sides.

When you look upon your lover’s unclad physique, make it a point to comment on just how exciting he is and just how turned on you are. Treat each tryst like it is your first. Devour him with your eyes as if it’s the first time you’ve ever seen his body and it will create a virgin-like encounter for the both of you.

Introduce the theory of ‘mind over matter’ into the bedroom. If there’s a game delay due to an erroneous erection, don’t be afraid to tell your man how exciting the appearance of his manhood is—even in a flaccid state. When he hears this, and sees how turned on and patient you are, chances are pretty good that he won’t remain boneless for long.

Remember, you can triumph over most any carnal conundrum. You just have to put your mind to it.