Enjoying great sex without love doesn’t seem to be all that hard. Porn stars, prostitutes and sexual surrogates apparently don’t have a problem with it, but appearances can be deceiving. Are these people just fooling themselves in the absence of any real emotional connection?
Up until the sexual revolution of the ‘60s, getting your pole waxed without having your heart wooed was a rare occurrence. Have we evolved into carnal creatures, devoid of the need for the true love our grandparents shared before they knocked boots? Well, not entirely.
For a time, it may seem that having sex without being in love can be just as intense as the mindless animal tryst. But for a vast majority of men, cupid’s arrow can be the missing piece of the puzzle for great sex. After all, we’re not all cut out to be porn stars.
You might argue that there’s at least as much fire in the furnace with the casual hookup as with more long-term amorous affairs of the heart. No doubt there’s an appeal to a first-time jump in the sack with a stranger—you’ll get no argument there. It’s just that there seems to be an emotional void that can only be filled by a mutual bond of love.
That’s not to say you absolutely have to immerse yourself in undying, proven love. How many times have we thought we were in love only to realize later it was just a strong lust-based bond? Well, placebos of the heart are probably somewhat effective. I mean, if you both feel and think you’re in love, it’s assumed that the sex will be better.
Then there’s the double-edged sword of monogamy burnout. Let’s say you’ve discovered true love (and the awesome sex that can go with it), but sleeping with your significant other for too long has landed you in the lull of bedroom boredom. You may have even experienced the heartache of infidelity. Well, that can certainly put a serious damper on the great sex/love theory.
But all is not lost. There’s always makeup sex, which researchers are discovering brings about euphoric reactions in the brain similar to that of a cocaine high. Of course, we’re not talking about an argument over your incessant sloppiness or inability to listen. Screwing around on your man is going to be a lot more difficult to overcome than other, less relevant transgressions. In fact, if your relationship survives at all, it will be because it was grounded in love in the first place. And then, after you’ve bounced back, the sex should be greater than ever.