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5/31/2013
If you've made it to this column you most likely have already been treated to a generous serving of beefcake. Not that I am complaining—I don't usually mind being dessert! But, after looking at all those gorgeous men with muscular bodies wearing next to nothing, I feel more like a serving of Lime Jell-O than the Zero-Calorie Hot Fudge Sundae you were probably hoping for.
Maybe it started with the home delivery of the International Male underwear catalog, but seeing hot men in swimsuits always did generate a special blend of allure and anxiety. You end up both wanting to ...
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5/21/2013
Do you think you look fat in those skinny jeans? Better not tell people, because no one will like you—especially if you’re actually a skinny bitch! How do I know? Well, a study presented at the recent Midwestern Psychological Association by the Notre Dame Body Image and Eating Disorder Lab told me so. Impressive. So there.
You see, they lined up pictures of all sizes of women and paired them with positive statements such as, “I know I’m not perfect, but I love the way I look,” and some overly familiar negative statements like, “I can’t remember the last time ...
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5/8/2013
Every year for the past four years, my partner and I have gone to Cancun with a large gay-owned travel organization. For those who don't know, it's a tour group that organizes cruises and land trips all around the world for mostly gay men. I won't say the name, but it rhymes with Schm-Atlantis.For those who have not been on one of these trips, you have probably seen ads with ripped muscle boys cavorting joyously on sun-drenched beaches and beside sparkling deck pools. This advertising definitely attracts many customers but seems to intimidate others.To the intimidated, let me ...
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4/26/2013
Nearly 15 years ago, Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student, was lured from a local bar, robbed, tortured, tied to a fence and left to die. When his killer, Aaron McKinney, was up for the death penalty, it was Matthew Shepard’s mother, Judy, who prevailed upon the prosecutor to spare the killer’s life. The prosecutor later commented that he would never get over her capacity to forgive.
Forgive?! I grew up Catholic, so I thought of forgiveness as something only a priest can give after several “Hail Marys” and an “Our Father.” People sin, God (and his representatives on ...
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4/11/2013
As I share my story on L.A. Shrinks, it feels like I stand psychologically naked before a million viewers every Monday night on Bravo. And what surprises me most is that some of those people perceive me as a victim. But that is definitely not something I want to be! So it got me thinking, when does someone stop being a victim?
For those who haven't seen the show, I will summarize my shame for you—like many out there, I lived in an atmosphere of abuse for most of my childhood. It was rough. Fortunately, it's over.
Many people ...
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3/28/2013
Over and over, I hear people criticizing others for the choices they make in life. "They shouldn't have done that! They should have done this!" Basically, people love to ‘Monday morning quarterback’ and take those moments to ‘should’ on those whom they perceive made the wrong choices.
Not surprisingly, I've been getting some of that as well. As people watch the heavily edited version of my life played back on Bravo, I get a lot of support and cheering on for things I did on the show—and I have received harsh criticism and concern about, well, other things ...
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3/12/2013
What do you do when you screw up and forget? What if you forget your partner's birthday, your anniversary or (goddess-forbid) their court date? Unfortunately, I have had to answer this question for myself more than a few times. Well, not the court date one (those are tough to forget).
Screw-ups seem to go with the territory in relationships. Like two sides of a coin, if you are going to be together with someone and fulfill their wishes, you are also going to end up pulling away or pushing against them and making them miserable.
Oh, I am not saying ...
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3/1/2013
Would you trust a therapist with problems? I ponder this as I am on the precipice of my show L.A. Shrinks about to appear on Bravo. It's of deep concern to me. This show doesn't just seek to show therapy, it seeks to show therapists. And, being that therapists are human beings, they are therapists with human problems. But I wonder if the issue is the therapist with problems or the expectation that therapists don't have them.There is no doubt that when we know someone's profession, we often look at him or her as if they should reflect that ...
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