Off the Couch Stories 1 to 10 of 27  
How To Train Your Man: Part 4
When he just won't change
I don’t want to over-sell this, but I am about to give you and your partner the real answers to life, the universe and everything else. Maybe The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Google will tell you it’s the number 42 (go ahead, Google it), but what I’m about to tell you will solve the unsolvable when your man just won’t seem to do what he’s told. In my previous three articles, I’ve shown you the principles of training your man. In short, if you want him to do something, you reward him with appreciation. If you want him ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 3
Stop His Bad HabitsHow to train your man Part 3: What do you do when your dog misbehaves? Punish him! What do you do when your man misbehaves? Punish him! It sounds fun at first, but if you don't do it right you’ll be the one feeling the pain. In my pre
What do you do when your dog misbehaves? Punish him! What do you do when your man misbehaves? Punish him! It sounds fun at first, but if you don't do it right you’ll be the one feeling the pain. In my previous two articles, I showed you that—like your dog—your man can be trained. Both are animals, and both will do tricks for treats, especially when it involves getting a bone. In Part 2 I pointed out that when you display appreciation for his good deeds, he’s more likely to do those things again in the future. In this part ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 2
(Getting him to do what you want)
The problem with relationships is that they involve other people. As you are well aware, other people have minds of their own and often do what they want despite your best efforts to show them the correct way—your way. In my previous article, I illuminated you to the fact that—like your dog—your man can be trained. I know, it's distasteful to liken your man to a dog, even when he acts like one. But the fact is that we’re all animals and we respond to the same things that animals do. And it’s all based on one thing. THE ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 1
The Basics
In my ever-expanding need to bring a dusting of sanity to an insane gay world, I have decided to let all of those who are in relationships in on a little secret: Just like a dog, you can train your man.Now, I know those well-meaning psychotherapists, your mother, your exes and countless chick flicks have told you that people don’t change. Well, that’s a lie. People can and do change.The brain doesn’t stop growing new connections just because people are over 21, and your old dog can learn new tricks. For Madonna’s sake, your grandparents used telephones with ...
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10 Sure Fire Ways to Win Any Battle With Your Partner
Anyone who has been in a relationship longer than two weeks knows that conflict is a part of it. My Valentine’s gift to you is a list of 10 guaranteed techniques to help you win any argument with your opponent—err, I mean partner. You’re welcome. 1. Assassinate His Character: Take the issue you are arguing about and make it about your partner’s entire personality. If he lied, call him a liar; if he doesn’t want to have sex, call him frigid; or if you don’t know what to call him, just use the ubiquitous “asshole.” 2. Paint with One Putrid ...
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My Eye Cream Also Treats Depression
At a dinner party recently, an attractive young woman shouted from the other end of the table, “Hey, Dr. Greg! What eye cream do you use?” This seemed to be an odd acknowledgment that my eyes didn’t look as old as my age would have her imagine. Should I have been flattered or insulted? Since I was a little of both, I decided to tell her both a truth and a lie. I shouted back, “Nothing!” It’s true. I don’t use any creams or potions outside of basic moisturizer. I have never had Botox, Restylane, Paralox or any other injectable ...
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What Would Brian Boitano Do?
When Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson ruffled gay feathers across the nation by placing homosexuality in the same category as bestiality and saying that “a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He continues by squawking, “neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the Kingdom of God.” (And here I thought being left out of my parents’ will was bad.) But them was fightin’ words to the folks at GLAAD, who ...
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Getting What You Want in the New Year
Lose weight! Earn more! Ask his name first! New Year's Eve has traditionally become a time when people make a resolution to change or achieve something in the coming year. While some estimate that 40 percent of Americans make new year’s resolutions, only about eight percent end up sticking to them. The big bummer is that 25 percent don’t make it past the first week. Sound familiar? The problem is not in the making of resolutions. It is how people do it. Resolutions are generally vague and open-ended changes that people vow to make because, frankly, in the previous year(s) ...
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6 Big Mistakes Gays Make at Holiday Gatherings
Everybody has the potential to be a drama queen during the holidays. Emotions run high, and the added stress makes everything worse. We are all running around with our panties in a wad while trying to buy that last-minute gift, decorate our Christmas trees and manage the onslaught of marginal friends and distant relatives. According to a telephone survey of 768 adults done by Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research in 2006, 68 percent of people reported fatigue, 61 percent reported stress and 52 percent reported irritability during the holidays. This leads us to make some big boo-boos during holiday gatherings that ...
What Your Car Says About You
“It had to look cute, the color had to be cute and I had to look cute driving it.” —Car test by Janet on the ‘70s sitcom Three's Company I have a confession to make, I like cars. Maybe this isn't such a revelation coming from a native of Southern California, where cars operate somewhere between ‘life necessity’ and ‘penile extension device.’ But being a gay man, I suppose I gravitate toward the latter. Gay women are far more practical. Here in L.A., where so many gay boys drive leased Range Rovers and live in single apartments, the car seems ...
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