Back to the Drawing Board
2/23/2012 5:21:00 PM
Well, my friends, you survived yet another Valentine's Day.
One would say unscathed—yes, emotional—maybe and stronger—definitely! As with anything, looking back in hindsight at what was once thought to be a mountain of a personal challenge turned out to be just molehill of silliness.
As I have said before, Valentine's Day is simply a celebration of Love. It is not an emotional audit of how you are capable of relating in life, it’s simply a celebration. One can celebrate all types of love like self-love, love of friends, family and human kind. Yes, the Hallmarks of the world will market the occasion as a day for lovers, but if you look closely at those card aisles they also have cards for friends, family and co-workers. We just need to read between the lines.
Remember when we were kids and you and your parents would stay up all night making those cheesy little cards to give to classmates? I must have made a thousand of those and couldn’t wait to pass them out to friends at school. Of course, not everyone was as excited about the New Kids On The Block cards I was passing out, but to each his own. My point is, we must remember to not put too much emphasis on who we are giving love too, but why.
So back to the drawing board we go.
As a belated Valentine's treat, I made a special card for everyone. If you’re single, its a very special reminder of the work we have to do with you personally. If you are in a relationship, it is a reminder that you must not forget who you are—to celebrate your individuality.
So who is this elusive you I speak about?
Well, let's start with the “Single You"—the person who has been longing for a relationship and has yet to find the special someone. My Valentine's Day card asks you to take a moment to reflect on your life, its direction and in dating, its decisions.
Some questions to ponder:
Are you dating or just sleeping around? Are you “always” dating the wrong kind of people like “bad boys” or the “Non-Committal”?
I have always believed that one must start with yourself and be 100 percent secure with your life in order to be in a successful relationship. If you are unhappy with your job that unhappiness will spill over into a relationship. If you are unhappy with your weight, that will also spill over as an “insecurity” and become a toxic enemy.
You must wipe the slate clean to move forward. Face your demons no matter how hard it seems.
Now, for all my friends in relationships I ask that you remember “You.” I have seen far too many times that people fall hard and fast when they meet someone. The thrill of a relationship is fantastic but equally blinding as well. You often forget who you are and what your personal interests are.
Remember those nights of watching Sex & The City for hours? How about hanging with the old gang, grabbing drinks, shopping? Or the hours spent in front of the mirror singing with the hairbrush to New Kids On The Block songs? No? Well, I’m sure if you tried it you wouldn’t judge. It’s everything.
The point is, all these simple things define who you are and it’s important to keep them as part of the thread of your life.
Take a moment, revisit “you” and engage in some of the things that make you happy as an individual, before there were “both of you.” Your partner should respect this, after all, I’m sure there are things that he likes to do too. Maybe they like New Kids on The Block. (OK—fine, I’ll stop.)
So, like all the determined people headed to the gyms to work their winter weight of, all of us are going to head back to the drawing board to revisit our love of self. It too will be just as satisfying as dropping a few waist sizes, fitting into your old skinny jeans or being able to dance drunk in your Speedo at a pool party hosted by porn stars. I’m just saying.
Till next blog,
For more love, head to Finding-Cupid.com or check out Finding Cupid Radio every Tuesday at 2 p.m. exclusively on Global Voice Broadcasting. Visit gvbradio.com for show times and schedules.