Blogosphere / Cupid

Would You Rather

Posted 3/18/2014 5:49:00 PM

When I first moved to Los Angeles, one of the weirdest things that I had to get used to was the odd array of decisions that came with finding a place to live.

For example, when I lived in Orange County, most houses and apartments were new. The hardest thing I ever had to decide on was whether or not to paint a wall in my living room.

In L.A., it’s quite the contrary. Every visit to an apartment complex or home becomes an intense version of the game ‘Would You Rather,” each answer to the question being harder than the question itself.

"Would you rather have a small bathroom or no heater?”

“Would you rather have a dishwasher or no closet?"

Unless you have all the money in the world to afford everything (which most of us don’t) we tend to make big sacrifices in the name of real ...



Ask Cupid

Posted 2/24/2014 4:28:00 PM

OK, guys and gals. You asked for it, and now it's here: “The Official #ASKCupid Q&A Session with David Cruz”

I have been taking your questions via Twitter, email and even when you stumbled up to me on “Sunday Funday” in West Hollywood. (Those are always the most entertaining.) So now, here are the best of the best questions from the last week, with all my “Cupid Opinions” to accompany them!

Dear David, My boyfriend and I have been dating for only two months, and when Valentine’s Day came up I wasn’t sure how to approach it. We ended up going for a movie and dinner, but I felt it could have been more romantic. Is this a sign that he’s not interested? —Via Finding-Cupid.com

After only a few months of dating there is always a bit of hesitation on anyone’s part to 'go big' on a holiday, especially ...



The Normals

Posted 7/12/2013 11:27:00 AM

There are many wise words of wisdom that have been past on to me in my lifetime. Some are great and some are cheeky. Some conjure up deep thought and others are just stupid.

Some of my favorites include: 
 
You can't lead a horse to water”

“Don't look a gift horse in the mouth” 

and the classic

“The grass is always greener on the other side”

But when it comes to the world of dating and love none has ever resonated more to me than the classic 
 
"Opposites Attract” aka The Paula Abdul Factor 
 
Sometimes I see couples that are shining examples of how this works- but then others that are simply poster children for poor choices while dating.

But isn’t that the way with everything?  

Time and time again I chat with friends who constantly are dating the “same kind of person” in the “same ...



Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Posted 5/31/2013 11:54:00 AM

Do you ever wonder why there are no gay dating websites?

Dating websites that are genuinely interested in the promotion of healthy long-term relationships?  

Why does there seem to be more of a desire to have “instant access” to torso’s and headless photos than to actually take the time to date.

In a community where we are fighting for marriage equality and seem to frustrated with the lack inability to find long term relationships…why does it seem that we are stuck in a one step forward two steps back mentality?

I spent an entire night searching the Internet to find sites that were devoted specifically to dating and for the most part came up empty handed?

Why do we as gay men embrace sites like Grindr, Jackd and Scruff- while sites like One Good Love fight to strike a chord of relevance?

To complicate matters more, Gay Matchmaking sites ...



Wedding Fever

Posted 4/3/2013 10:14:00 AM

 Obsessed.

That is the only word that I can use to describe my feeling lately about the possibility of getting married.

Pondering.

That is the immediate word that people use to describe the face I make when I am caught day dreaming about said obsession.

Now for the record, I'm not stalking bakeries "cake tasting" or ripping out the pages from GQ of the tux ill be wearing. Im just deep in thought.

Never in my lifetime did I ever think that getting married would, or could have been part of my life's grand plan.

"I wonder how this could truly change the landscape of how we date and have long term relationships as gay men."

Marriage.

You cannot escape the conversation. Its in the newspaper, on the television, at the water cooler. It's staring every gay man and woman right in the face.

But rather than debate the actual issue ...



What is Love?

Posted 2/12/2013 3:01:00 PM

As we head into the last few days of preparation before Valentine's Day, I find myself busy with the hustle and bustle of getting my readers ready for the big day. I imagine this is what Santa would feel like—making his toys, getting the old suit dry cleaned and polishing up that sleigh.

I have been talking about Valentine's Day for the last few months now. My house looks like I won a grand prize of Valentine's Day decorations and cards. I am in deep, folks.

It is usually about this time I begin to separate from the aesthetics a bit and focus in on what’s important. Is it a perfect card, an expensive bouquet of flowers or a fancy dinner? What about the shallow gay stuff: Is it about how “hot” my guy is, the car he drives or the lavish spending sprees I hope he takes me on?...



The Presentation

Posted 2/1/2013 1:25:00 PM

Welcome to West Hollywood—one of the largest gay cities in the United States.

I am currently sitting in one of the largest, gayest Starbucks Coffee shops the city has to offer. You know the one—the one across from the largest, gayest 24 Hour Fitness club in the city. Man is this a scene.

My preparation to sit and write is vastly similar to my preparation to go out on a Friday night. Yes, I have cologne on, and yes, I did my hair. God only knows why. I mean—this is just a coffee shop, right? Why all the pomp and circumstance?

I'll tell you why—because we are gay. We are all about presentation. We live for it. We don’t have people over for dinner, we have a “dinner party”; we also don’t just hang out, we have a “kiki.” If there is anything that the domestic goddess/prison survivor Martha Stewart ...



New Year, New You, Same Bad Habits

Posted 1/15/2013 1:21:00 PM

After all the dust settles from the holidays, there is a moment of remorse that I feel from the ending of the holiday cheer and the awkward in-between-time that follows. As we slowly take down the decorations, toss the dry Christmas tree and wallow in the presence of the still very cold winter, one can only reflect back on how quick it came—and how quick it left.

As we peel back the layers of lights and garland we begin to see the faint essence of what used to be our homes. We easily forget our lives in all the holiday hustle. I admit, it’s far better a moment to think of baking cookies and singing to Mariah Carey than to think of dating or relationships.

One can say Santa was a stand-in boyfriend.

But here we are, 2013. The house is bare of decorations and fresh with inspiration of the ...



Gaybernating

Posted 10/26/2012 12:39:00 PM

It has been at least a month since I had last exchanged words with all of you and I am just sick to my stomach. Will you ever forgive me?

I wish I could tell you I was away on vacation, getting married in Paris or studying for a big test—but alas, I have been at home… gaybernating.
 
At some point in every newly coupled gay man's life, you stray from the wolf pack and find yourself at home with your boyfriend doing only couple things. Eat, sleep, sex, date night, Ikea visits, sleep.
 
Gaybernation happens when you least expect it and—like a pair of your favorite sweatpants—it’s almost impossible to leave its comfort.
 
As I laid in bed the other day, the new fall chill outside and my boyfriend and I inside, I wondered If I could ever leave the confines of my apartment. What has ...



Smart in the Heart

Posted 8/11/2012 5:49:00 PM

Over the course of my life, I have had the absolute privilege of meeting some very amazing and educated people. Whether they have been entertainers, writers, doctors or business owners, each one of them have brought a certain amount of awe to our conversation that I could never explain. It’s as if I am a starry-eyed 4-year-old meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time.

I love hearing them tell me about where they went to school, why they started their profession and the defining moments of their life that made them who they are. It’s exciting to think that at some point in life, somebody went to school with the next president, Olympian or CEO of a company.

It’s at that very moment when I think I have nothing in common with “Mr. or Mrs. Career” that we begin a conversation about relationships.

They would say things like “Relationships are ...