Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
5/31/2013 11:54:00 AM
Do you ever wonder why there are no gay dating websites?
Dating websites that are genuinely interested in the promotion of healthy long-term relationships?
Why does there seem to be more of a desire to have “instant access” to torso’s and headless photos than to actually take the time to date.
In a community where we are fighting for marriage equality and seem to frustrated with the lack inability to find long term relationships…why does it seem that we are stuck in a one step forward two steps back mentality?
I spent an entire night searching the Internet to find sites that were devoted specifically to dating and for the most part came up empty handed?
Why do we as gay men embrace sites like Grindr, Jackd and Scruff- while sites like One Good Love fight to strike a chord of relevance?
To complicate matters more, Gay Matchmaking sites ...
David Cruz III
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4/3/2013 10:14:00 AM
That is the only word that I can use to describe my feeling lately about the possibility of getting married.
That is the immediate word that people use to describe the face I make when I am caught day dreaming about said obsession.
Now for the record, I'm not stalking bakeries "cake tasting" or ripping out the pages from GQ of the tux ill be wearing. Im just deep in thought.
Never in my lifetime did I ever think that getting married would, or could have been part of my life's grand plan.
"I wonder how this could truly change the landscape of how we date and have long term relationships as gay men."
You cannot escape the conversation. Its in the newspaper, on the television, at the water cooler. It's staring every gay man and woman right in the face.
But rather than debate the actual issue ...
What is Love?
2/12/2013 3:01:00 PM
As we head into the last few days of preparation before Valentine's Day, I find myself busy with the hustle and bustle of getting my readers ready for the big day. I imagine this is what Santa would feel like—making his toys, getting the old suit dry cleaned and polishing up that sleigh.
I have been talking about Valentine's Day for the last few months now. My house looks like I won a grand prize of Valentine's Day decorations and cards. I am in deep, folks.
It is usually about this time I begin to separate from the aesthetics a bit and focus in on what’s important. Is it a perfect card, an expensive bouquet of flowers or a fancy dinner? What about the shallow gay stuff: Is it about how “hot” my guy is, the car he drives or the lavish spending sprees I hope he takes me on?...
David Cruz III
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2/1/2013 1:25:00 PM
Welcome to West Hollywood—one of the largest gay cities in the United States.
I am currently sitting in one of the largest, gayest Starbucks Coffee shops the city has to offer. You know the one—the one across from the largest, gayest 24 Hour Fitness club in the city. Man is this a scene.
My preparation to sit and write is vastly similar to my preparation to go out on a Friday night. Yes, I have cologne on, and yes, I did my hair. God only knows why. I mean—this is just a coffee shop, right? Why all the pomp and circumstance?
I'll tell you why—because we are gay. We are all about presentation. We live for it. We don’t have people over for dinner, we have a “dinner party”; we also don’t just hang out, we have a “kiki.” If there is anything that the domestic goddess/prison survivor Martha Stewart ...
New Year, New You, Same Bad Habits
1/15/2013 1:21:00 PM
After all the dust settles from the holidays, there is a moment of remorse that I feel from the ending of the holiday cheer and the awkward in-between-time that follows. As we slowly take down the decorations, toss the dry Christmas tree and wallow in the presence of the still very cold winter, one can only reflect back on how quick it came—and how quick it left.
As we peel back the layers of lights and garland we begin to see the faint essence of what used to be our homes. We easily forget our lives in all the holiday hustle. I admit, it’s far better a moment to think of baking cookies and singing to Mariah Carey than to think of dating or relationships.
One can say Santa was a stand-in boyfriend.
But here we are, 2013. The house is bare of decorations and fresh with inspiration of the ...
10/26/2012 12:39:00 PM
It has been at least a month since I had last exchanged words with all of you and I am just sick to my stomach. Will you ever forgive me?
I wish I could tell you I was away on vacation, getting married in Paris or studying for a big test—but alas, I have been at home… gaybernating.
At some point in every newly coupled gay man's life, you stray from the wolf pack and find yourself at home with your boyfriend doing only couple things. Eat, sleep, sex, date night, Ikea visits, sleep.
Gaybernation happens when you least expect it and—like a pair of your favorite sweatpants—it’s almost impossible to leave its comfort.
As I laid in bed the other day, the new fall chill outside and my boyfriend and I inside, I wondered If I could ever leave the confines of my apartment. What has ...
Smart in the Heart
8/11/2012 5:49:00 PM
Over the course of my life, I have had the absolute privilege of meeting some very amazing and educated people. Whether they have been entertainers, writers, doctors or business owners, each one of them have brought a certain amount of awe to our conversation that I could never explain. It’s as if I am a starry-eyed 4-year-old meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time.
I love hearing them tell me about where they went to school, why they started their profession and the defining moments of their life that made them who they are. It’s exciting to think that at some point in life, somebody went to school with the next president, Olympian or CEO of a company.
It’s at that very moment when I think I have nothing in common with “Mr. or Mrs. Career” that we begin a conversation about relationships.
They would say things like “Relationships are ...
The New World of Gay Dating
7/13/2012 10:02:00 AM
Once upon a time, dating in the gay world used to be pretty cut and dry. You find a guy, he likes you, you like him and BAM—you're moving into his apartment and picking out furniture at IKEA.
Well, since then things have changed a bit in our little bubble. We aren’t just gay anymore. We are bi, transgender, drag queens, parents, divorced and a slew of a hundred other things that I never could have imagined. It’s starting to sound more like the straight world, doesn’t it?
When was the last time, that as a gay man you had to worry about meeting a guy and liking him—only later to find out that he had kids! Gone are the good old days of worrying about vegetarians and drugs usage. This is the new age of gay rights, equality and forward movement. This is the new diversity in the ...
Bros Before Hoes—Is That Really the Question?
5/25/2012 9:23:00 AM
There was a time in my life where I was going out almost every night—it felt like at least six days a week. I was a grown man partying like I was a 19-year-old with a really good fake ID and an alcohol dependency. Life was good.
At my side were my two best friends and a gaggle of gorgeous women. We were a scene, a force and for all intents and purposes—fabulous! The only thing that we ever regretted were the photos we took on our camera phones. Those were often entertaining though. Who wouldn’t laugh at us at stacking jelly containers on a friend’s head that passed out at a diner? It was like a game of drunk Jenga!
Flash forward to today. I barely speak to any of my friends and it usually takes a divine intervention by God to make an outing that every ...
Stay The Course, Choose A Different Hue
4/11/2012 9:28:00 AM
When I was 15, I had just lost my virginity to my high school girlfriend, I had three pairs of Air Jordans and I was trying to decide who was cooler—Debbie Gibson or Tiffany.
Life, on all accounts, was pretty normal.
That is, except for the fact that I was struggling with my sexual identity, had parents that were in the middle of a nasty divorce and I was an oldest child of five burdened with keeping the family maintained.
My mother was a former beauty queen-turned-full-time banker and my father a New England scholar who joined the military and went to the gym more than he went to his children’s school plays.
My siblings and I would always find the most entertaining ways to keep each other company. We often liked to make music videos of ourselves singing Paula Abdul songs and pretending that our ...