Jackie Beat

Selene Luna's Secrets
The 3'10" burlesque star and comic genius reveals her taste for Sinbad, George Costanza and El Bulli
Jackie Beat

A trail-blazing little person in the entertainment world, Selene Luna—at 3’10”—is a small package with a very big presence. A veteran of the stage and screen, she cut her teeth performing in clubs and art venues and quickly became a darling of Hollywood’s underground scene. An original member of the Velvet Hammer Burlesque, Luna tours internationally and performs regularly with the undisputed Queen of Burlesque, Dita Von Teese. Luna is probably best known for her role in the feature film, My Bloody Valentine 3D and her stint as Margaret Cho‘s assistant in Vh1’s The Cho Show, a performance that landed her a nomination for MTV LOGO’s NewNowNext Brink of Fame: Comic Award. 

If this were speed dating, how would you describe yourself to a complete stranger in just one sentence? I’m an uptight, free spirit and an unwed, childless, stay-at-home mom!

If you could watch only one movie every single day for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? The 7th Voyage of Sinbad from 1958. It’s a film about a princess shrunken by an evil wizard—the story of my life!  But seriously, I’m a severe escapist and that movie has all the elements I crave in entertainment—history, to-die-for aesthetics, adventure, romance, culture and my all-time favorite movie component, fantastical stop-motion monsters! #Cyclops

Complete this sentence: “I could not live without…” Money, dick and weed!

What celebrity would you like to have wild, passionate dirty animal sex with? Tommy Lee Jones.

Describe, in detail, your death row meal. Total no-brainer. A 45-course meal, along with wine pairings, from El Bulli restaurant in Catalonia, Spain. Sadly it’s closed now, but they would reopen it in honor of my pending execution!

What song title could also be the name of your autobiography? “Because I Got High” by Afroman.

Hold onto your seat, it’s about to get real… What’s your favorite color? And think of a pretentious new name for it. “Palm Springsmarine,” or The Color Formerly Known as Turquoise. 

If you could come back in your next life as anyone or anything, who or what would you be? A gay man’s lapdog.  

Worst job you’ve ever had? I’ve had more bad jobs than I can remember, but "Customer Service Executive" for Comcast Cable comes to mind. I can’t even get into the depth of ignorance and illiteracy that plagued that call center.  

Share your favorite beauty tip with us. Half lashes! “Corner/Half/Demi” lashes are comfortable, weightless and super easy to apply. Half lashes intensify the depth of your eyes without looking fake, and they blend easily with your real eyelashes.

Who or what is your spirit animal? George Costanza from Seinfeld.

Tell me a secret! I have a sink drain phobia.

Finally, be a total shameless whore and plug whatever you want. Catch my radio show Lunatic Fringe every Tuesday at 5 p.m. PST on, and come see The Dog & Pony Show at Akbar (4356 Sunset Blvd., Silver Lake) on select Mondays at 8 p.m. It’s all on

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  2. Janna posted on 06/12/2014 07:32 PM
    Oh Jackie. This was a great article, but how many times are people going to write about little people entertainers with an opener about them being "a little package with a big talent," or some variation thereof? It's so trite.
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