David Cruz is a yente for the 21st century gay man. For years he has provided insight and empathy to aid SoCal’s LGBT singles in finding romance. Now, the same-sex love guru will be sharing his expertise on the new season of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker, a reality series where host Patti Stanger matches wealthy singles with compatible potential partners. As Stanger’s first-ever gay assistant, Cruz adds a unique perspective to the show.
“The Millionaires Club has always had gay clients, but this is the first time you will see an openly gay man on the show assisting Patti and her clients find love,” says Cruz. “For me to be bringing my knowledge of the LGBTQ community to the matchmaking team is important and very exciting! I am also one of the only new assistants to be in a long-term relationship.”
Cruz’s personal romantic success lends an air of credibility to the advice he dispenses, buttressed by his years of hands-on experience in relationship-aiding projects.
“I am mostly known for my gay blog about dating called Finding Cupid. It’s an honest look at dating in Los Angeles and how it’s hard to find anyone that still believes in love. The blog eventually became a full-fledged website addressing all relationships—gay and straight—and then was developed into a weekly talk show, which is now in its fourth season on UBNRadio.com. My expertise comes from all the people I have interviewed about relationships on my show and all the different things I have been through and experienced along with my followers.”
Of the many lessons Cruz has learned over the years, of paramount importance is finding personal fulfillment before adding a partner into the mix.
“The first thing I try to educate people on is the importance of happiness in one’s life and career. If you are not happy with where you are in those departments, you will not be happy in love. I was like that for a while, and I couldn’t figure out what my challenge in dating was. Once I addressed that, I met my boyfriend of two years. It opened up my focus to relationships and not ‘what I still needed to work on’ in my life.”
Of course, just because one has found a partner doesn’t mean the work is over. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires patience and communication, as well as the ability to give and take.
“One piece of wisdom I use daily is compromise. I think my boyfriend and I have pretty strong points of view sometimes. When we want to do a group project, like painting a wall or buying furniture, I make sure to respect his opinion and hear him out.”
Gay men who have yet to find Mr. Right often tend to act jaded and discouraged. Cruz has a few pearls of wisdom for these men as well.
“My advice is to forget about everything you knew—throw it all away and start fresh. Don’t be jaded by the bad dates, bad people and lost time. Pick up the pieces and keep going. Love is still out there. I am living proof of someone who sees it happen everyday.“
Catch David Cruz on The Millionaire Matchmaker, airing Thursdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
10 Tips for Keeping Love Alive in Modern Times
1. Be a Warrior of Chivalry
There is much to be said about being a gentleman. Not only should you marry one but you should also be one! Open doors and treat the love of your life like a king.
2. Write Handwritten Love Notes
Whether it’s a handwritten letter, card or even a Post-it, surprise the one you love with a short and sweet declaration of your love.
3. Do Something Your Partner Enjoys
It’s easy to get caught up with what you like in a relationship. Switch things up and make your partner feel special. Maybe tonight’s the night you watch a documentary instead of The Carrie Diaries!
4. Create Traditions with Good Friends
Whether it’s planning a monthly dinner party or a karaoke night, fostering your relationships with friends creates a strong support system. Become the ambassador of good times while catching up with the people you care most about. Remember that friends need love, too, and traditions like these keep everyone feeling special.
5. Make a Phone Call
When was the last time you actually talked to someone? Connect on a human level and call someone you care about. The general rule should be to replace one text a day with a phone call. Go ahead, I dare you—dial.
6. Plan Date Nights
Whether you’ve been together for a year or 10 years, remember to keep that flame burning bright. Plan nights out like you did when you first met, and make them fun and sexy.
7. Embrace “Guys Night Out”
Sometimes it’s good to let guys be guys. Spend time away from your relationship and let loose with the old gang. At the end of the night you will still get to cuddle with your little spoon!
8. Unplug from Technology
It’s so important to take a day and simply unplug—no tablets, phones, laptops or Twitter, just human communication. Take this time to make dinner, go for a hike or go to the beach together. Disconnect to reconnect!
Life can be too serious sometimes. People often get so caught up in being grown ups that they forget what it’s like to just play. Take time in your day to read the comics, run in the sprinklers, wander the toy aisle, watch cartoons and just relax. This will help your relationship “breathe” and not be taken too seriously. A relationship can be a lot of things, but it should also be fun.
10. Be Thoughtful
Go the extra mile for the one you love. When your significant other is sick, make him soup and put together a special “get well” care kit. When you see his favorite candy, buy it for him. Do something without obligation and surprise him with it. Thoughtfulness is a one-way ticket to a long and happy relationship.
Find David’s column, Finding Cupid, here.