It’s another Saturday night, you’ve rested up from the busy work week and you know tomorrow you can snooze through the morning. This was once the point where a sexual pleasure-fest wasn’t even a question—it just happened. But as weeks turned to months, and months dominoed into years, your relationship developed a yawn that left you reaching for the remote rather than your lover.
The problem is, a mutually compatible, healthy sexual appetite is a key part of an intimate relationship, and neglecting it can drive a serious wedge between the closest of partners. But before you beat yourself up over letting the sexual embers cool down, consider that you could be fighting a physiological uphill battle.
“There’s biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine, the chemical messenger that affects the pleasure center in your brain,” says OB/GYN Renee Horowitz, founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Michigan. “That’s why it’s so much easier to get excited in a new relationship—everything is novel, and your brain responds accordingly.”
But unless you plan to switch partners every time the excitement slips into low gear, you might want to consider throwing a little changeup into your sexual routines. Adjustments to your erotic protocol can be as simple as trying a new position, exploring a different lovemaking location or enjoying some spontaneous sex.
There are some carnal contortions that may look uncomfortable and defy the laws of gravity, but they can be well worth the trouble (think Kama Sutra meets Cirque du Soleil).
Choosing the exact location of your next animal tryst can be just as important as how you do it. When was the last time you shared a shower with that special someone? Just remember that while it’s OK to bend over for the soap, it’s not OK to slip on it (anti-slip shower floor decals are highly recommended). Other areas of your domain could prove interesting as well. Try working up an appetite with a spontaneous romp in the kitchen.
Another issue that can produce the great divide in your sexual relationship is time. Most couples probably don’t want to limit their sexual romps to the weekend anyway, so with busy schedules, housecleaning and other time consumers, what’s a happily horny duo to do?
This is where the quickie comes in. Sure there’s nothing like the explosive orgasms that extended foreplay can produce, but where time is an issue, sampling your partner’s love sausage on the fly has its benefits as well. You still get the intimate connection necessary to keep your relationship in check, you get that stress-relieving physical release and you have time and energy enough to barbecue up your favorite beast.