Pumped Up Prostates
Jim Larkins

Before their debut on thousands of seedy websites, negative pressure vacuum pumps had the noble duty of giving life to the limp. The transparent tubular mechanisms drew blood into penis capillaries, creating otherwise impossible erections for men with chronic diabetes or circulatory disorders.

But it wasn’t until shady profiteers began promoting these peter pumpers as tools for permanently increasing the size of one’s manhood that they started to get a bad rap. There was just never any scientific proof to support the claims of such colorfully tagged devices as the Big Bazooka, Blue Veiner, Fireman’s Pump and Bull Fighter.

With the help of a pump, a man can temporarily elevate from the hamster-hung set, but that glory is short-lived. Once the pressure is released, the newly transformed stud’s member will return to its former disappointing dimensions. 

So considering they haven’t done much more than dupe the desperate into handing over a substantial chunk of their paychecks with no real hope for return on investment, you might ask why even give these cocky contraptions any thought or promotion. Well, penis pumps may have found redemption as serious aids in at least one important area of medical science. 

Surviving prostate cancer is certainly grounds for celebration, but, sadly, along with the loss of the prostate can come the inability to produce and maintain an erection. Because it is virtually impossible to perform radical prostatectomy surgery without disturbing nerves that control the erection process, erectile dysfunction (ED) is an almost guaranteed byproduct of the procedure. 

This is insult to injury for those men who probably experienced some degree of ED due to the cancer in the first place. The good news is, with the help of vacuum therapy, the prostateless masses may not have to endure a flaccid future. A growing number of studies indicate that vacuum therapy has an important role to play in prostate surgery recovery. Run Wang, Director of Sexual Medicine at Lyndon B. Johnson General Hospital in Houston, Texas, and Kenneth Jacobsohn at the University of Texas Health Science Center recently published data on the use of vacuum therapy to help prostate surgery patients regain erection capabilities. 

Dr. Vipul Patel, MD, Director of Robotic and Minimally Invasive Urological Surgery at Ohio State University, is another proponent of phallic pumps. Dr. Patel, who has overseen nearly 1,000 surgeries, routinely prescribes vacuum therapy for post-prostatectomy patients. 

All things considered, prostate cancer may not currently be high on your list of urgent issues.  But just keep in mind that, considering the lifetime risk for prostate cancer is one out of every six men, a penis pump might someday become your new best friend.

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