Off the Couch Stories 1 to 10 of 30  
The Sex-Starved Relationship
I gave a book to a partnered friend on her 50th birthday entitled Sex After 50. The inside of the book was blank. Everyone laughed, including my friend, who spit out her chocolate cake before turning to me and whispering blankly, “I haven’t had sex for two years.” My friend, who has been in her relationship for more than 20 years, is not alone. According to the groundbreaking book American Couples, 67% of gay couples and 33% of lesbian couples report having sex three times a week or more during the first two years of their relationship. But things change ...
Preening for Pride
Bare chests, dilated pupils, walks of shame. Pride isn’t just about celebration; it is also a time of exhibition, inebriation and indiscrimination. A time for us to come together and do whatever the hell we want, with highlights occasionally appearing on PornHub the next day. For weeks leading up to Pride, those with an itch to ditch every stitch fill up the gyms—sometimes twice a day. These men (and women) are hoping to both attract attention and feel acceptable to other muscled beauties. They limit their food intake to a chicken breast and two breath mints, and every morning is ...
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Standing up for Sissies
Examining the prejudice against effeminate men
Oregon mother Jessica Durtro fatally beat her 4-year-old son because she thought he was gay. She subjected little Zachary Dutro-Boggess to repeat attacks, with a final blow leaving his insides bleeding and his bowels torn, eventually killing him. Jessica sent a Facebook message to her boyfriend, Brian Canady, saying she knew he was going to be gay. “He walks and talks like it. Ugh.” She told Canady he would have to “work on” Zachary “big time.” Work on him they both did. Canady admitted kicking the boy in the abdomen while wearing shoes, pleading guilty to manslaughter. But it was ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 4
When he just won't change
I don’t want to over-sell this, but I am about to give you and your partner the real answers to life, the universe and everything else. Maybe The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Google will tell you it’s the number 42 (go ahead, Google it), but what I’m about to tell you will solve the unsolvable when your man just won’t seem to do what he’s told. In my previous three articles, I’ve shown you the principles of training your man. In short, if you want him to do something, you reward him with appreciation. If you want him ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 3
Stop His Bad HabitsHow to train your man Part 3: What do you do when your dog misbehaves? Punish him! What do you do when your man misbehaves? Punish him! It sounds fun at first, but if you don't do it right you’ll be the one feeling the pain. In my pre
What do you do when your dog misbehaves? Punish him! What do you do when your man misbehaves? Punish him! It sounds fun at first, but if you don't do it right you’ll be the one feeling the pain. In my previous two articles, I showed you that—like your dog—your man can be trained. Both are animals, and both will do tricks for treats, especially when it involves getting a bone. In Part 2 I pointed out that when you display appreciation for his good deeds, he’s more likely to do those things again in the future. In this part ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 2
(Getting him to do what you want)
The problem with relationships is that they involve other people. As you are well aware, other people have minds of their own and often do what they want despite your best efforts to show them the correct way—your way. In my previous article, I illuminated you to the fact that—like your dog—your man can be trained. I know, it's distasteful to liken your man to a dog, even when he acts like one. But the fact is that we’re all animals and we respond to the same things that animals do. And it’s all based on one thing. THE ...
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How To Train Your Man: Part 1
The Basics
In my ever-expanding need to bring a dusting of sanity to an insane gay world, I have decided to let all of those who are in relationships in on a little secret: Just like a dog, you can train your man.Now, I know those well-meaning psychotherapists, your mother, your exes and countless chick flicks have told you that people don’t change. Well, that’s a lie. People can and do change.The brain doesn’t stop growing new connections just because people are over 21, and your old dog can learn new tricks. For Madonna’s sake, your grandparents used telephones with ...
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10 Sure Fire Ways to Win Any Battle With Your Partner
Anyone who has been in a relationship longer than two weeks knows that conflict is a part of it. My Valentine’s gift to you is a list of 10 guaranteed techniques to help you win any argument with your opponent—err, I mean partner. You’re welcome. 1. Assassinate His Character: Take the issue you are arguing about and make it about your partner’s entire personality. If he lied, call him a liar; if he doesn’t want to have sex, call him frigid; or if you don’t know what to call him, just use the ubiquitous “asshole.” 2. Paint with One Putrid ...
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My Eye Cream Also Treats Depression
At a dinner party recently, an attractive young woman shouted from the other end of the table, “Hey, Dr. Greg! What eye cream do you use?” This seemed to be an odd acknowledgment that my eyes didn’t look as old as my age would have her imagine. Should I have been flattered or insulted? Since I was a little of both, I decided to tell her both a truth and a lie. I shouted back, “Nothing!” It’s true. I don’t use any creams or potions outside of basic moisturizer. I have never had Botox, Restylane, Paralox or any other injectable ...
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What Would Brian Boitano Do?
When Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson ruffled gay feathers across the nation by placing homosexuality in the same category as bestiality and saying that “a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He continues by squawking, “neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the Kingdom of God.” (And here I thought being left out of my parents’ will was bad.) But them was fightin’ words to the folks at GLAAD, who ...
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