COLUMNS / LITTLE MISS KNOW-IT-ALL

Jackie Beat

Mario Diaz: King of Sleaze
Jackie Beat
4/7/2014

Mario Diaz is best known to audiences as the leading man (and king of douchebags) in the indie hit Hollywood Sex Wars. You may recognize him as the circus ringleader in a recent Subway $5 FootLong commercial. He’s also the co-lead singer of the band Dirty Sanchez, an aspiring dancer and the creator and promoter of countless nightclubs and dance parties around Los Angeles. Mario loves puppies, pizza and tube socks, but he hates your flip-flops.

If this were speed dating, how would you describe yourself to a complete stranger in just one sentence? Hello, I’m Mario, and I like chihuahuas and Chinese noodles!

If you could only watch one movie, every single day for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? John Waters’ Female Trouble, starring the greatest actress of all time, Divine. The movie has everything—drama, intrigue, beauty and liquid eyeliner.

Hold onto your seat, because it’s about to get real. What’s your favorite color? And think of a pretentious new name for it. Umm … oh, Jesus. “Oh, Jesus Green?” It’s heavenly!

Complete the sentence: “I could not live without …” I could not live without my beautiful, brilliant, talented and amazing family of friends. My “framily.” Sprint stole that term from us, by the way, those bastards.

What celebrity would you like to have wild, passionate dirty animal sex with? Tony Danza in Who’s the Boss? circa 1984.

What song title could also be the name of your autobiography? “The Kid Is Hot Tonight” by Loverboy. It’s my anthem!

Describe in detail your ‘death row meal.’ May I please have the cheese, peanut butter, chocolate, pizza, popsicles and quiche with bacon?

Worst job you’ve ever had? As a teenager I worked as a telemarketer, soliciting prospective customers to buy products and services. It was so gross. “Sorry to have bothered you, but this is the only job I could get with big black goth hair and eyeliner on.”

Share your favorite beauty tip with us. Exfoliate! It’s the key. And don’t become a bitter old queen.

Who or what is your ‘spirit animal’? Tiger.

Tell me a secret! I once pooped in the public swimming pool when I was 7.  God, it feels so good to finally get that off my chest!

Finally, be a total shameless whore and plug whatever you want. I throw the “longest-running weekly boy party in Los Angeles”—11 years and still going strong—every Thursday night at Fubar, called BFD. Every first Saturday night at Akbar I throw a dance party called Full Frontal Disco, where we have amazing midnight performances by some of the best choreographers and professional dancers in L.A. And every second Saturday is my “man party” called Brutus at The Faultline.  Oh, and I’m extremely happy and excited to announce the world premiere of Club King, a documentary about yours truly, at the 16th annual Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival!

Club King – Official Trailer from jon bush on Vimeo.


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